Of Life And Other Things.

From time to time, I watch a movie that really touches me, it doesn't happen often. I'm not much of a movie buff, I basically just watch them to switch off, to relax, sort of just disappear into myself. So when a movie can make me sit up and take notice, suffice it to say that movie really matters to me, touches some nerve. This time it's a movie by the name of August Rush. Now lets be very honest here, the only reason I really started watching it was because of Jonathan Rhys Meyers, I mean come on, he had an Irish brogue. But after a point, it had nothing to do with him, it became all about the music. That movie probably has the the best soundtrack I've ever heard, it's impossible for me to describe how, which is why I shan't try. But apart from that, it wasn't only about the music, but about the part music can play in everyone's life. Life has a soundtrack, whether you accept that fact or deny it, doesn't matter, it's still there, every minute of everyday. Sort of the way God is supposed to be. And that's ultimately what this movie is about; faith- outside it's traditional references, destiny, intuition and about really listening to what the universe is trying to say. Guess that's why the movie left such an impression on me, those words basically summarize everything that I believe in. I'm still trying to figure out what my path is, what my purpose is, I'm listening closely.

Haw Hai Tauba.

When I talk about Karachi or Pakistan in general, I always seem to be talking about contrasts and clashes, oxymorons and stark differences. I'm always awed but how all these opposites exist side by side in the same small place. Well I've just recently moved to Istanbul, Turkey, and my first real epiphany about the city is how you wouldn't use the word contrast to describe anything here. It's not that it has fewer opposites, it doesn't, in fact it has more then I'd have ever imagined a city to be able to hold. But what it does have is a seamless blend; nothing really stands out, or doesn't fit or doesn't seem to belong, it's a city filled with contrasts, but somehow you'd never describe them as such. And it makes me think that as a nation, that's probably what we're missing, the ability to take all these differences and let them mix together.

We're so focused on provincial differences, political differences, religious differences, ideological differences, and we think that coexisting is synonymous with homogeneity, that the only way to live peacefully is to eradicate the differences. What utter bullshit. We're so shocked when our team receives the loudest cheer at the opening of the commonwealth games in India, or when an entire stadium full of Bangladeshis supports us over the West Indies, in a recent cricket match. We're always so taken aback and pleasantly surprised by these gestures, that people don't hate us, not realizing that it's because most people don't judge others on the basis of ideology or politics, they judge them just as people, with the capacity for both good and bad, innocent until proven guilty, giving them the benefit of the doubt.

We don't get this because it's not how we function, for us it's all about labels and preconceived notions. Everyone who isn't like us is evil or wrong or out to get us. We teach our children to be endlessly wary and suspicious of someone who doesn't fit, to stay away, to stick to our own, and we're not even entirely sure of who our own are. We're hardwired to believe that everything evil is based in everything that we don't agree with, don't understand or just don't believe. And it's bullshit to say that we aren't all like that; take someone who swears to be open minded and non-judgemental and sit them down in a group of people all pointing fingers and haw-hai-ing at what doesn't fit and watch them nod their heads. I've done it and it makes me hate myself every time. That is who we are, and maybe if we just admitted it we'd be able to change it. I'm trying.

Mera Azm Itna Bulund Hae Parae Sholon Se Dar Nahin. Mujhe Dar Hae Tu Atish e Gul Se Hae, Ye Kahin Chaman Ko Jala Na Dein

I am ashamed. Ashamed of my people, ashamed of the hate that is destroying my home from within.

I accept defeat, Pakistan is beyond saving.

The little things that make me so proud and hopeful, are being swept away in this great tide of religious lunacy. Forget education and art and music, there is no humanity left and that is how I know that our nation has lost and those soulless murderers have won. We may be muslim (and that in itself is debatable) but we are no longer human. What we don't realise, I doubt Allah wants creatures like us in paradise.

I cry for my country, for what it will never become. I cry for my children and grandchildren, for what they will never know. I cry for myself, for I will have nothing to call home. And I cry for all those men and women who allow the devil free reign in the name of Allah, igniting their soul instead of filling it with light.

"My Resolve is so strong that I do not fear the flames from without

I fear only the radiance of the flowers, that it may burn my garden down."

For less emotionally charged and disillusioned opinions on this:

http://cafepyala.blogspot.com/2011/01/real-blasphemers.html

http://blog.dawn.com/2011/01/05/death-becomes-his/