Who Changed?

4 years ago, when I made the decision to leave my old world behind, I was positive I had made the right decision. Since then I've had very little occasion to regret the move I made. Infact most of me, on good days or bad, will always be thankful and proud of the fact that I had the courage to make it. So many never leave the cocoon, as a friend of mine put it. Since then I've met a city full of wonderful people, made some amazing friends and really been able to respect them and learn from them. I've done things I would have never imagined doing before either. Yet a small part of me will forever feel this terrible pang of sadness at the naivety that led me to believe, that I could turn my back on the lifestyle and the priorities and the belief system of that world, but still keep the people. Frankly, from time to time, I really miss them. I miss the people we all used to be. I miss the secrets, the gossip, the tragedies, the drama, the laughs, the dreams and most of all the frivolity. It's not like it all disappeared at once, there are still the 6-monthly phone calls, the birthday scraps on facebook, the yearly meet up, and the accidental run in. But it all seems to be getting fewer and far between, not to mention far more quiet. Neither of us ever have much to say each other and the conversation seems to be getting far more tedious. The really sad fact is that I don't even think it's their fault. I'm the one who changed, I was always different, but by leaving I voluntarily turned my back on them, and now it can never be the same. Most of all, I hate the fact that I have all these happy memories from as far back as kindergarten but absolutely no one to share them with, and that just sucks.